Surrender And Pursuit of Godliness With Family

For Christians, the pursuit of godliness is a daily call. God calls us to be holy because He is holy. This is not some abstract idea for Christians, but it works its way into all the crevices and corners of life. In my efforts to grow in holiness, I want to share with you three areas of my life where I need much grace. The surrender and pursuit of godliness with family is the first.

The Struggle

Too good to be true is actually not too far-fetched from how I would describe being a mom to Rosie. Even more, I love how our family feels more complete with her in it. Our most precious memories are those of the 5 of us (counting our two mischievous bunnies) sprawled on the living room floor and simply enjoying each other. Life is very sweet.

But then I noticed fear creeping into my heart. It started with a gripping fear of finding Rosie cold and lifeless in her crib. This fantasy grew and festered to the point of me suffering some sleepless nights. I would toss and turn, obsessively checking for the rise and fall of her little chest.  One night, it hauntingly dawned on me that not only Rosie but George could also die in his sleep. I held my husband a little tighter that night. Then I started getting extremely anxious whenever he wasn’t home. What if he didn’t make it back?

Surrendering My Idol

My fears had a tight grip on me. Although I recognized that they were irrational, it was difficult to find rest from the nightmares. I longed to enjoy my family – something I couldn’t genuinely do when I was haunted by these wild imaginings.

God is not a God of fear. This fear is not from the Lord. Perfect love casts out all fear. My Father of lights gives me only good and perfect gifts. These biblical truths popped into my head and I would try to use them as some kind of mantra to combat my negative thoughts, though to no avail. I couldn’t enjoy fully this gift from above because I wasn’t enjoying in the way He intended for me to. Rather than enjoying and trusting in God, I was holding on to this gift with a tightly clenched fist. My family had become an idol.

Tim Keller’s sermon resonates with me in my struggle to surrender and pursuit of godliness with family. He asks: what thing if you lost it, could almost mean you lose the will to live? My family. What preoccupies most of your mind? Rosie (and sometimes George). Whatever it is, it is an idol. An idol is anything more fundamental than God to one’s happiness, self-worth and identity, Keller defines. My family, an inherently good (amazing!) thing has become the greatest thing in my heart. And the danger – an idol will always break my heart; only Christ can bear the weight of our hearts desires.

Application

In my struggle with idolatry, I’ve sought to:

1. ACKNOWLEDGE my idolatry. I came to a realization that I did not have sincere God-given joy but a worldly idolatry which resulted in grief and anxiety.
2. REPENT of my idolatry. With a humble posture of drawing near to God, I ask for forgiveness for exalting my family in such a way. I ask for grace and power to surrender my idols to their rightful place.
3. SEEK the Lord. When there are idols in my life, my time is naturally dedicated to them. Time with the Lord diminishes. The gospel starts to taste bland and unappetizing. By striving to dedicate more time to the Lord, both in prayer and Word, the gospel once more comes alive and becomes the source of joy and delight. Now the change is never immediate. My fears do not dissipate overnight and I do not start to crave to read the Bible immediately, but I find God gives strength for me to persevere in daily surrender. God gives a supernatural and overwhelming sense of peace when fear and uncertainty strike my heart. God draws me to the gospel when I’m prone to forget. Then I am able to think: Christ is my greatest treasure. What could be worth more than what He has already given me?

Prayer

Lord, I repent of my faithlessness. I have taken this amazing gift of family and made it the ultimate thing. Teach me how to surrender even the good things to you. I know that you are the sovereign and loving Father. You love me so that you work all things for my good. So rather than fear, help me to simply trust and obey daily.  Attune my mind and my heart to the truth that Christ is the greatest thing and the only one who could truly satisfy my heart. Help me surrender and pursuit of godliness with family. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Have you considered if family could be an idol in your life? Share with us below!