How To Be The Best Stay-At-Home Mom You Can Possibly Be

The stay-at-home mom life is no joke. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s not a ticket to the easy life. Choosing to stay at home takes real brains, guts, and serious self-discipline. Today I’m sharing my top seven secrets on how to be the best stay-at-home mom you can be.

George and I planned early in our marriage that I would stay home after having kids. We believe that this kingdom work of double disciple-making is invaluable. We believe that it is the best decision for our children, for me, and for George.

God has graced me with a few advantages that made the transition from working wife to stay-at-home mom easier: I’ve always wanted to stay at home after having kids. I am organized. I enjoy domestic hobbies. I have a natural inclination to nurture.

Even then, the transition was difficult at times. It took me about a year to make peace with my new lifestyle. At first, our vision to be a one-working-parent family was purely a theological fantasy. We idealized the notion of staying at home and didn’t consider the practical consequences.

I would vacillate between being bored and overwhelmed. One day, I’d be idle and lazy. The next, I’d stress out because the to-do list couldn’t be avoided any longer. I’d struggle with mom-guilt (and wife-guilt) over not doing the right things or not doing enough. My sense of self-worth and being “just” a mom was a constant struggle.

The challenges, hurdles and growing pains are inevitable but even so, choosing to stay home has been one of the best decisions we’ve made. It is utterly rewarding and absolutely sanctifying.

I hope in the midst of daily challenges, your experience is a fulfilling one too. Let’s help each other be the best stay-at-home mom we can possibly be – for our families and for ourselves. Here are seven crucial tips for success.

1. Know Your Purpose

This is crucial: know your purpose and remind yourself of it OFTEN. Why am I deciding to stay home again? It’s a mental battle. It’s too easy to get caught up in routine and focus on the little things. It’s discouraging when what I do seems insignificant. Why am I wiping up spilled milk for the third time today? Why am I picking up toys that will dumped again in an hour? Because it’s kingdom work and there is eternal value. I’m going to remember my purpose and be faithful to my role as I clean the potty.

2. Develop A Routine

Get into a good daily self-care routine. Get dressed in the morning. Eat three square meals. Go to bed at a disciplined time. It does wonders for your mental health too.

But the one thing that will really keep your sanity in check is to get your little ones into a good routine. Kids thrive on repetition and routine. My toddler knows exactly what to do when it’s time for breakfast, time for play, or time for a nap. No fighting, no yelling, no blackmailing. Just smiles all around (most of the time).

3. Schedule Your Week

Plan your week. Have a planner and/or a family calendar and use it.  Even if you’re not the organizing type, at least vaguely know what you’re going to do every day. Are we out of groceries? Is that toddler program running today?

I cannot live without my planner. I use it for 1) jotting down the never-ending list of to-do’s in my head 2) organizing my days 3) brainstorming rainy day/back-up plans (ie. having a few toddler activities to do if the day doesn’t go as planned) and 4) setting a goal or two for the week. Yes, I am an organizing freak.

4. Get Out Of The House

Get out of the house regularly and often. Run an errand, set up a playdate, or go to the community centre. It doesn’t have to be long but be intentional about getting out. Everyone is happier after getting some fresh air by going on a simple neighbourhood adventure – even an introverted mama like myself. I make an effort to schedule an outing every morning. Lately, we alternate between going to toddler drop-in programs, the library, the playground, grocery shopping, and the mall.

5. Pick Your Battles

Prioritize what’s most important to you. You can’t do it all. I finally learned to make peace with the mess. No one else will get it but mama, you know that there is not enough time in a day to keep the house clean. Just let it be. I value spending quality time with my little one. Then I value spending time on myself – resting, reading, blogging, etc. Most of the chores can wait. And since I’m in my third trimester, I gladly choose to rest over making dinner (sorry hubby).

6. Find Your People

Surround yourself with like-minded people. Most people don’t quite understand the stay-at-home life and that’s normal. Find peers who do. Connect with older role models. Inspire young women (and future mamas). I interact with lots of moms in my community every day. The online community of mom bloggers and Instagram influencers has also been an unexpected blessing.  Walk with each other in the challenges and celebrate your victories together.

7. Stimulate Your Mind

Learning is a lifelong process and it should be embraced. As a stay-at-home mom, you have the freedom to choose what you want to excel in. Pursue a passion. Keep your brain active. My writing, entrepreneurial skills and some form of creative/artistic skill have been either enhanced or awakened in this past year. Learning God’s Word and becoming well versed in theological matters is an ever-present way to use my mind too.