5 Things I Learned After Becoming A Dad

Learning new things is an inevitable part of fatherhood. Over the past 6 months, I have experienced so much that I want to share with you. I hope this will teach you, encourage you, and give you a snapshot into parenthood. Here are the 5 most prominent things I learned after becoming a dad:

How I Need to be More Selfless

Before, I thought I was pretty good at denying myself and putting my wife first, but fatherhood is a new level of discipleship for me. My struggle is setting aside my plans and freely giving myself to my two princesses. On the outside I seem to do well, but inwardly I am impatient, reluctant, and selfish. I admit that at times, I see the needs of my family as an inconvenience to my own pursuits, and I hate it. These feelings are especially amplified when there is much to do, when I am not actively depending on the Spirit, and when I allow self-pity to fester in me.

I need to grow to greater heights of maturity in Christ. Jesus not only made himself to be a man, but to be a servant, and I desire to walk in the way of my master. This means joyful willingness to serve my family, knowing that in doing so, I am serving the Lord – may He give me strength.

How Super-Duper My Wife Is

Ever since my wife has given birth, she’s been my new hero. I always used to think she was a spectacular person, but now she has evolved. Call it God’s design or primal instinct (or both), whatever it is, I am impressed. She has been a soldier with how she breastfeeds for an hour straight, manages to do all the laundry, completes all the medical/maternity paperwork, reads her Bible regularly, and even enjoys her domestic hobbies, all with little sleep and still looking gorgeous while doing it.

But by far, the most heartwarming thing to see is how she’s able to provide our new baby with the perfect motherly care. The love Eunice displays for our little one is a dimension of my wife I had not ever seen, and has birthed in me new affections for her. It is a sight that makes me think: “boy, do I love THIS woman!”

How To Take It Easy

Everyone comes into parenthood with preconceived notions about child rearing. This occurs because throughout the trimesters, we were (and you will be) bombarded with advice and “cultural secrets”. Some of them are helpful, some are inconvenient, and some are ridiculous.

We also had our own convictions. We wanted to:

• Breastfeed exclusively, but ended up bottle feeding our baby to bring her home sooner.
• Get our daughter to always sleep in her bassinet, but we caved and let her sleep with us on the bed numerous times.
• Do family worship daily together, but we missed multiple days due to fatigue.

I learned after becoming a dad that it’s okay that things won’t be ideal. I learned to take it easy on myself concerning unmet expectations. We all have convictions and let’s resolve to meet them, but let’s not let guilt and disappointment derail us. Let’s look to Christ, our righteousness, stand up and move forward in His grace!

How Parenthood Involves Politics

I did not foresee this, but I am astonished at how much Eunice and I have had to be diplomats let alone parents. Firstly, I want to affirm that we love our parents and we deeply appreciate their support – we couldn’t do it without them!

The issue is that they have their own standards, which they share with us repeatedly. Eunice and I both found it tiresome to be gracious while keeping to our own beliefs; sometimes we declined suggestions respectfully, other times we refused harshly, most times we were polite and didn’t listen. The situation added another dimension of stress to our lives; we wanted to be Christ-like in our relationships, and that means honoring our parents, but also being a separate family unit.

Through the difficulty, Eunice and I were able to be more grateful for their willingness to help and also learn to be firm in our decisions for our family, regardless of what other well-meaning people thought. This was one of the key things I learned after becoming a dad.

How It Is Awesome

Above all else that I learned, I now know that parenthood is on-another-level awesome. Eunice and I were both not child people, meaning we were not the type to act cartoonish when we came into contact with other children; some people are like that. We both longed for children and the experiences God has built into the task of raising them, but something in us had not been awakened yet.

All that changed when our daughter came; we both became infatuated with children – not just our own either! There really is an indescribable happiness that outsiders to the parenting world cannot truly understand. Just by being in my daughter’s presence, I feel so much joy and gladness. Providing her needs, changing her diapers, or moisturizing her face become a privilege I meekly accept. Oh how awesome it is to be a dad!

These are the key things I learned after becoming a dad. Most of them were unexpected, but all of them changed me for the better. I can’t wait for what else is in store!

Do these points resonate with you? What sort of things did you learn after you became a dad? Share with us your experience below!

To read my reflections on what dad-hood means, click here.