Debunking 5 Misconceptions About Stay-At-Home Moms

Unless you’re a stay-at-home mom or you’ve had a stay-at-home mom, the stay-at-home mom life can seem like a pretty big mystery. Let me shed some light on the stay-at-home mom life for you. Today I’m sharing the five main misconceptions about stay-at-home moms that I have personally encountered in my short 2 years of motherhood. 

I grew up in a community where choosing to stay at home was not the norm. My cultural background also discourages a woman’s choice to stay at home. When I decided to stay at home full-time to raise my children, I was met with some opposition from family and confusion from friends. Other peoples’ remarks and opinions have really forced me to dig down deep and decide if staying home was really the best decision for everyone. I can say with great confidence that being a stay-at-home mom has been refreshing, challenging, fulfilling, and one of the best decisions we’ve ever made as a family!

Here are five big misconceptions about stay-at-home moms:

SAHM’s have a lot of down-time.

I WISH I had more down-time.

So no, I am not bored all the time. 

From preparing meals, feeding, cleaning, dressing (you’d be surprised how long this takes), potty training, and grocery shopping, the day fills up fast. Add to that my desire to be intentional by preparing Pinterest-perfect toddler activities and leading daily circle time. Then add to that my ambition to make it big on Instagram and become a mompreneur. 

The daily grind doesn’t stop. 

SAHM’s don’t need to socialize. 

“That’s great for you but I need people in my life” 

I try to not be offended because I can see where they’re coming from. The title “stay-at-home” certainly implies that I’m home all the time.

I’m also an introvert so I don’t mind having more alone time than the next mom. But even so, I know that I want and need to socialize. Playdates, mom groups, bible studies, community drop-in centres – we have tons of choices every day. 

Although hermiting at home is definitely always an option (especially in those cold winter months), I believe that the family thrives when they are surrounded by community. 

A Christian family thrives when they are being intentional with the people around them and looking for gospel opportunities.

SAHM’s are naturally domestic.

You only become a SAHM if you’re a domestic goddess. You have an apron tied around your waist. Your kitchen always smells like freshly baked bread. Your house is spotless. Every room is Instagram-perfect. 

I wonder how many mothers are actually like this. 

I admit I love that image. But who am I kidding – in real life, my hubby is the one who is killing it at home. 

Every SAHM has unique qualities and skills. I believe that domestic duties are learned skills and it doesn’t matter how natural or good you are at them. What matters is the heart behind the work. A SAHM strives to do her best. She has a willingness to serve her family in this way no matter how enjoyable or tedious these tasks are to her. 

SAHM’s are not driven. 

Driven. That word strikes a chord with me. I’ve always aspired to be someone who works hard and perseveres to reach a goal. 

Just because I’m not climbing the corporate ladder doesn’t mean I am not driven. 

My drive is simply not for career advances. 

Mine is to flourish in this calling of motherhood. I care for and teach my children. I manage the home. I want to walk alongside other young women. I work hard to excel at some personal skills. 

Every mom has a different goal. But we are motivated and ambitious. We probably all excel at being self-directed. We are not apathetic or aimless just because we choose to stay at home. 

SAHM’s are wasting their education and their potential.

I’ve really had to battle through this one. At the end of the day, I’ve learned to not take it so personally as this idea is deeply ingrained in my culture’s values.

I have a master’s degree. I was a licensed occupational therapist for less than two years before I made the decision to stay home full time and indefinitely.

My education is not a waste because the goal of my education is not only for financial means. 

I believe my education and every other part of my life are a part of God’s intended plan for my sanctification.

As I dive deeper into motherhood, I see with greater clarity that even my career choice providentially helps me excel as a stay at home mom. 

Transferable qualities like being empathic, communicating well, being a life-long learner or showing advocacy have been instrumental in helping me be the best I can be for my children. 

I hope this was insightful and sheds light on some common misconceptions about stay-at-home moms. 

If you are a mother, don’t let other people’s stigmas and misconceptions bring you down. Educate them. Have clarity and confidence in your choice. 

I know there are days when you doubt and question. I do it too. Our work is tedious, humbling and hidden. But God sees. We are not “just” a mom but we are doing valuable kingdom work. Trust that God is orchestrating every little detail of your life journey for His great purpose.

Are you struggling as a SAHM? Check out my 7 tips on how to rock the SAHM life!